Several months after my divorce, I was facing life as a single mother, running her own business and trying to handle it all. I was also worn out, burning the candle at both ends and living in fear of failure. I had been experiencing odd symptoms that worried me. A tremor in my left hand would show up unexpectedly; a numbing sensation in my feet and legs would awaken me in the middle of the night. God knows I was under enormous stress that could’ve been a large contributing factor. Nevertheless, I became alarmed as the symptoms increased. Without health insurance and lacking a budget that afforded regular medical doctors, I hoped the alternative medical field might find a way to address my symptoms.
I had begun to investigate the body mind and spirit connection after reading a book by Carolyn Myss called “Anatomy of the Spirit.” I could acknowledge that my body was showing signs that my mind and spirit felt trapped, unable to move forward. It seemed a rational conclusion that my emotions were beginning to shut down from the overload and my body was beginning to lose feeling too. I feared that the permanent physical outcome of such thinking might be frightening to imagine.
This doctor was able to help me in so many ways, but most of all, she gave me a lecture that affected me deeply. Speaking kindly, in her soft voice, she said,
“If someone or something, can provide you with the very thing you need or believe that you need to move forward in your life/your healing, then it is up to you to take that thing and use It.”
In other words, if God or the Universal Energy in which you believe, provides you with the answers to your prayers, but it comes in a very unlikely package- accept that it is in different form and take it. It is ludicrous to pray for and ask specifically for what you want and then refuse to allow it to be answered, because the format is not to your liking.
We must be able to take the potion that will heal us in whatever form it presents itself if we ever hope to become well. Letting go of our perception of the cure is the only way.
She encouraged me to monitor the input my mind received-music, TV shows, books, conversations, e-mails even, that slipped into my subconscious mind, could reveal negative thoughts I digested every day. We must work hard to remember that thoughts are actual things, what we absorb from the people around us influences our ability to think for ourselves. The very things you think about yourself, your life, your goals, all stem from what is pouring into your mind from outside. Putting into your mind what you want to believe is true, is the surest way for that very thing to manifest in your life.
Dr. Mall began my treatment by explaining that my body was out of balance. I interpreted this to mean that my life was out of balance. We began working on a plan to help me achieve a healthy base for my body and mind to begin healing. Within a few short weeks, all my symptoms had disappeared, although the root causes were still present in my life. My stress levels were still high, sleepless nights common, and I still had trouble staying focused on what I needed to change in my life. I had faced my choices and made decisions to improve my way of living.
I had shifted my perspective to create truth I could live with; I had even begun to bless my past, to let go of the negative emotions I associated with. Now, I had to take the actions required and drive out my own demons so I could continue to get well.
I arrived for my appointment one afternoon several months later. My health improved, I was feeling better and ready for the next level of treatment.
The doctor gave me an herbal tincture that she called “The Strong Woman Remedy.”
She warned me to take it only every fourth day. This tincture was to give me the strength to stand strong in my own power, and to ask for what I needed to heal. I began taking it the very same day, and felt nothing at first. After 10 days, I called the doctor crying and upsets about how awful things were. I was fighting with my ex-husband, my mother, my son, my guests and even my friends! It was wreaking havoc on my life.
She listened to me and then calmly explained that I had been taking it incorrectly- every other day instead of every 4th day, and it was harming me.When we discussed the correct schedule,
I began taking the right dosage on the right days, but still struggled to remember to take my dose. I truly think I was afraid of getting strong and becoming healthy. I was secretly sabotaging my own healing. It’s a common thing we all do. We discover what will make us strong, more in control of our lives. We envision the cure for what ails us and we begin feverishly to manifest the solution for ourselves. What results is not always the way or in the method we would choose it and so we do not take the “healing potions”. We let it pass us by, certain that we will be saved in a much different way.
Driving out the demons of self-sabotage is extremely difficult. It becomes an almost daily exercise for most of us. Luckily, there are proven ways to overcome those negative thought patterns once we can recognize them. Therapists and counselors recommend daily affirmations or prayers as a way to penetrate the subconscious mind and override the constant stream of self- talk we govern our lives with. Finding a coach to help you stay on track and move in the right direction for your best results is often the key. This was the next best thing I did for myself and it put me directly on my healing path! I can’t stress enough how important it is to have support when you are making shifts in your life.