After Jerrod’s death,
I looked for ways to dig in and reconnect with my life, but nothing worked.
I had no interest in my career, and quit my job within a year. Nothing captured my interest- it was as if my personality with all my likes and dislikes disappeared. I no longer cared. About anything.
My friends were there in the first few months to hold me up and care for me. And then, they slowly slipped back to their own lives. Time marched on for everyone else, life continued to evolve. Only my world had stopped. No one understood. Their lives moved forward, they expanded and continued to grow. I stayed stuck, unable to enter a future without him.
His friends moved on as well, continuing to enjoy the activities they had once shared with him. They finished school, got jobs, developed new relationships and moved on. As they should. Only I stayed stuck.
And I grieved. Silently, all day and all night.
I turned to my spiritual practice. Yoga, meditating, reading the authors who had always held answers to Life’s questions for me. I slept days and roamed the house at night, searching for comfort I guess. I realized that the second year was harder than the first and contemplated that if this was going to continue- each year becoming harder than the last, I had to find a way to cope.
I decided to put my coaching training to work and signed up as my own client. I stepped outside of my own grief and examined objectively what it was that I needed to begin healing. I studied psychology texts and reviewed over 100 therapists work on grief and healing and designed a program for myself.
I broke down the physical healing plan which included a diet change, hiring a personal trainer and evaluating my body’s health.
I created a spiritual plan that encompassed a focused meditation schedule, mind/body connection through massage and Tapping and began studying breath work.
I put myself on a rigid education study- books on understanding grief, healing , wellness, balance and began re-centering my thoughts and emotions. I listened to lectures by the world’s most followed teachers: Wayne Dyer, Carolyn Myss, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Jay Shetty and many more.
I began to understand the toll that staying in a belief of loss was costing me. And I believe that I saved my own life. I began to heal. I recovered my interest in living again and I began to share my program with others stuck in their own loss. This became the basis of my coaching program, “Hope to Cope”.
My free workbook, “Find Me” is the first part in reconnecting to yourself- the one you were before the grief. Finding You begins the process to pull you out of grief and back into the light.